The biggest mistake people make when trying to change their life is chasing the “big win”. We love the idea of doubling our money overnight, of losing 20 pounds in one week, of starting a successful business in under a month. The faster the better. But these big wins are often unrealistic and only lead to one outcome: short-term failure.
Chasing big wins causes us to lose our long-term focus and often leads to poor decisions in the short-term. The solution to overcoming that job you hate is not to walk into the office tomorrow, tell off your boss, and declare yourself free from the man. It won’t work. You’ll be working at McDonald’s in less than a month just to pay your bills.
The way to win is not by making a bold declaration in a moment of motivation that you vow to “start grinding” or “putting in work”. That never works. It’s not about posting on Facebook about how you’re making a drastic change. It’s not about New Years Resolutions.
No, in order to win you must do the exact opposite of all these things. Don’t announce your goals to anyone. Don’t rally your friends for support or start a group message with everyone you know to share your big, audacious goal. Don’t tweet, post photos, post videos, or write inspirational posts on social media to get attention for your goal.
Instead, chase the small wins.
Don’t vow to meditate for 30 minutes every morning before work after reading an inspirational post on how meditation will change transform your life. Instead, take a few deep breaths in your kitchen before your leave. Then again the next morning. And the next.
Don’t send out a mass email to all your friends telling them about a new business you’re starting. Instead, spend that time finding a domain and hosting plan to start building your website online.
Don’t go delete your Netflix account tonight after reading some article about how TV is preventing you from being the person you want to be (although it probably is). Instead, spend 30 minutes reading tonight instead. Then again the next night.
Don’t toss out all the ice cream in your freezer in a brief moment of discipline and post on Facebook about how you’re no longer eating sweets. Instead, just skip out on desert. Just for tonight.
Don’t go buy a new closet of workout clothes. Just go to the gym today.
Don’t declare yourself a minimalist and throw out all your kids toys while they’re at school. Instead, let them choose one of their toys to donate to a children’s shelter when they come home.
Don’t start trading penny stocks and hope to hit it big this week. Instead, open up an IRA today and invest in an index fund.
These are all ways you can win small. Not only is winning small less stressful and more realistic, but it has a curious side-effect: it helps us gain momentum. Convincing your kids to throw out all their toys could be challenging. But donating one toy? That’s a small step in the right direction. It makes it easier to donate another toy.
Our society has a love affair with “big wins”. We buy products that promise to change our lives not only dramatically, but instantly. We have social media platforms that are begging us to share our biggest dreams and aspirations with our followers, even though this doesn’t help us get any closer to achieving these dreams. We praise the idea of “overnight success”. We glorify the big wins.
But the truth is, big wins don’t exist. A big win is simply a pile of little wins accumulated over time. The most surefire path to becoming a millionaire is to practice diligent saving for many years. The best way to lose weight is to choose salad over desert one day at a time. The most effective way to radically change your life is not to make a big announcement, take drastic action today, and hope for success to show up tomorrow. Instead, chase the small wins and let them accumulate into big wins over time.
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