Failure has a negative stigma attached to it. Nobody enjoys failure. Most people avoid it like a plague.
In fact, the only thing worse than being labeled a failure is experiencing a series of failures. Enough failures strung together in a short period of time is often more than enough to convince most people to quit an activity.
But I have good news. You are the only person tracking your failures. Think about it. Nobody in the world has enough time to keep track of all the failures you experience over the course of a week or a month or a year. Someone close to you might notice you fail at something occasionally but they can’t possibly know exactly how many times you have failed. More importantly, said person has their own failures to worry about as opposed to thinking about yours.
Consider a superstar high school student who applies to 10 different elite universities and only gets accepted to one. From their perspective they failed nine times and succeeded only once. But from the perspective of everyone else all they know is that the student got accepted into an elite university. Only the student herself could possibly track her failures.
Or consider the superstar college graduate who interviews with 10 different elite companies and only gets an offer from one. From their point of view, they know they failed nine of the interviews and only got an offer from one. But from the perspective of outsiders all they know is that the college grad got an offer from an elite company.
So what does this mean? It means that no one on earth is aware of all the failures you have experienced (nor do they probably care to know). So if you feel like you are a ‘failure’ just know that you are solely responsible for giving yourself that label. Nobody else can label you as a failure. Only you can label yourself as one since only you are aware of how many times you have actually failed.
To the employee who has asked for a raise at his past three jobs and been denied all three times – ask for a raise at your current job. Your current manager isn’t aware of your past unsuccessful attempts at getting a raise.
To the college grad who has been denied by 10 different companies – apply at yet another company. They aren’t aware of all the times you have been denied.
To the single guy that has been turned down by 5 girls in a row – ask another one out. She isn’t aware of the other girls that have turned you down.
The point I’m trying to make is that despite how many failures you have experienced, you are not a failure until you have decided to call yourself one. Only you are capable of being held back by your past failures. The rest of the world is not aware of them.
So don’t stop seeking progress and improvement because you are afraid of failing yet again. Try, try, and try again. It’s very likely that you will fail, fail, and fail again. But only you are cognizant of these failures.
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